Saturday, April 14, 2007

GYM ETTIQUETTE 101 DON'T FUNK UP THE GYM


While I wouldn't call myself a gym rat, I do try to get into the gym to workout at least four times a week.


Today was day three of my weekly workout session, I decided that I would start out by running on the treadmill for 3o minutes and then I would hit the weights.


After stretching I got on the treadmill and noticed a heavyset brutha working up a serious sweat on the treadmill to my right. I started my treadmill, entered my stats and begin to jog. Two minutes into my run I started smelling what clearly was funk coming from the brutha on the treadmill to my right.


At first I thought that I would just keep going, tough it out and stay focused on my run. Five minutes into my run, the funk became so intense that I couldn't bear it anymore. I stopped my treadmill and moved to another one at the other end of the room, far away from the funk monster.


As I continued my run, I couldn't help but wonder if that brutha knows how funky he was and if he did, what's up with that? Maybe he is so used to smelling his own funk that he is immune to it.


I want to take this opportunity to offer a bit of advise to people who don't think about how they smell when they go to the gym. I am not saying you should go to the gym wearing cologne, but if you think that you might be a little bit funky before heading to the gym, guess what...you will be a lot of bit funky when you start working out.


If you have a propensity to stink when you workout, you might want to take a shower before you work out. Just because you can't smell your funky ass doesn't mean that your fellow gym mates can't.


Remember the gym is a communal environment, not your home.

Bath!


Out
Black Sissy







GOD LOVES FAGS? LET ME EXPLAIN.


I hope that you all had a great Easter.

Mine was slightly bizarre.
Let me first explain that I am a man who has since I was a little boy, read the Bible often and have sought the approval of my fellow christian brothers and sisters.

I am also a man who since I have become an adult won't stand for any of their bullshit. Let me explain.

I am not in church often, but when I am in church, I have a low tolerance for preachers who use Bible passages to condemn homosexuality and this past Easter was no different.
Let me explain.

I was in the midwest visiting a friend over the Easter break and decided to join him and his family at the family's church. It just so happened that the preacher decided that this was the day to attack the homo's.

"And the book of Leviticus verse 22 chapter 8 says 'do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable."

He went on to quote the book of Genesis which includes the story of Sodom & Gomorrah blah, blah, blah.

As I listened to his out of context ranting about homosexuality, I suddenly had an out of body experience. I found myself standing up in a congregation of about 1,200 people. I stood silent as the people around me begin to take notice.

Suddenly the preacher, noticing that I had stood up and was beginning to get attention from the congregation said "Come up to the stage young man." As I made my way through the aisle to the stage I thought, what the hell am I doing?

When I reached the stage the preacher said "Son, you seem to have something heavy on your heart, let the Lord use you." and he gave me the microphone.

What happened next could only be described as....DEEP!

I said, "This is not right...it is not right that your preacher is using Leviticus to condemn homosexuality. Let me explain."

The book of Leviticus says a lot of things to include:

Chapter 20 verse 13 "If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."

So according to the book of Leviticus homosexuals like me should be put to death.

Chapter 19 verse 19 "Keep my decrees. Do not mate different kinds of animals, "Do not plant your fields with two kinds of seed. "Do not wear clothing of two kinds of material."

So you all should check your clothing to see if you are wearing woven blends or you are in violation of God's laws.

Chapter 19 verse 27 "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard." Verse 28 "Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves I am the Lord."

Everyone with fades or trimmed beards or tattoos is in violation of God's laws according to Leviticus.

And have you all really read the bible story of Sodom and Gommorah. If you haven't you should read it because no where does it say that the reason that those cities were destroyed was because of homosexuality. I also find it strange that it was ok for Lot to exchange his two virginal daughters to appease the crowd of men seeking sex with the men (angels from God).

It is strange because that was then...a different culture, a different understanding of humanity, thousands of years ago, among a people desperate for law and order during a difficult time in their historic evolution, similar to many black people today. And while many of the values espoused in the book of Leviticus are good food for thought, much of what you read here are ancient efforts to put an out of control community in check.

And if you plan to use these scriptures as a way to condemn and put homosexuals in check you are perpetrating a fraud.

I then walked off of the stage and sensing the hysteria that I had caused walked right out of the door.
I haven't talked to my freind since Easter, however, I have conversed with God and you know what...we really do love each other.

Out.
Black Sissy